The mystery of a January Day - stories from my childhood

It was a scintillating, vibrant winter day. Mom said that I do not have to go to school.

We would have been visiting her friend who got a baby girl. I remember that day clearly and in many details.

We were baking cookies; I was allowed to help. I had my own corner in the kitchen with my small rolling pin.

As I was cutting the cookies, I would watch the jellies in the plates near the windows.

It reminded me of a story of my big brother. He used to be afraid from the wobbling jelly when he was a toddler.

I smiled.

Afterwards, we left for auntie Lizi who was the best friend of my mom at that time.

The night before they arrived at our home, when I was already in bed, they said "We got the baby!"

It sounded as if everybody was very cheerful. Eventually, my father entered my bedroom to tell me about the good news; I was not in a cheerful mood. I was screaming " Leave me alone! " My father did not listen to me. He lifted me from my bed and wanted to carry me to the other room so I can have a look at the newcomer, but I was in a tantrum and was kicking my father all over. He was forced to put me back in bed. I spoiled the evening. Nobody understood why I was behaving like that; I could not understand myself either.

The baby was lovely: smiling with big brown eyes. It was a nice visit. My mom and her friends were talking about how difficult it was to get her out of the hospital. I apologized for my behavior the night before.  The apology was accepted.

This baby girl brought much cheer into her own parents and our life. My baby brother and this newcomer were growing together. Nearly every day we met and they became good friends. They got on very well with each other. "No wonder," the moms would often say  "they were born on the same day!"



My brother was born in the summer. Something did not add up. But there were so many things like that in life. I did not care much about this small issue.

Then we moved to another part of the country, and we grew up not seeing each other for a long time.

After twenty years, something surprising happened. We were reunited for a  Sunday lunch. Auntie Lizi was crying while telling her daughter's story to my mom.

"She was always a lovely, obedient child. Then when she was 18 she left us suddenly."

 Her daughter was very disappointed when she had to learn from the neighbors that she was an adopted child. Her parents wanted to keep it secret.

Only then I understood many things about that January night. The baby was already a half year old. Just like my brother. And auntie Lizi did not have a big tummy before the baby. Because of the bureaucracy, it was very difficult to get the baby they chose.

It was then I understood many things about that January day.

And the story we heard at lunch was not  uplifting.

The secrecy of her adoption made her feel inferior. Terribly. She grew into a beautiful and smart young lady, but she would not go to college. There were lots of decent men of their circles who wanted to marry her, but she had a strong feeling of being less than them. She is an adopted one. She married a worker from the factory.

God knows how many times she was told by her peers "You are an adopted child!" How long she was carrying the burden of this secrecy! How many times she tried to ask her parents about it! But she was never brave enough until she became 18.

Keeping an adoption secret is a terrible mistake! I  saw with my  own eyes how  it   kept a lovely young person from living her life up to full potential .

My childhood memories - my brother never got sick

 I must always smile whenever I remember this story . It started in a winter afternoon ...we expected the form teacher of my   big  brother  to visit   us .  He was a five grader at that time .It was/is the custom   in Hungary that  the  form teachers visit once a year the family of every student to  have better  idea about the surroundings of the student and have a friendly chat with the parents .

Well, she was a very nice lady - she was sitting in the kids room  and drinking coffee with my mum . She told many good things about my brother  - he is smart , helpful  and very popular . My mother was very proud .

Then the teacher added and "what is really  exceptional  - he did not miss a single day from school last year . He seems very healthy child as well ".... Then my mother went overconfident and she told  her "  I do not intend to brag  but ... he has not been down with any illness for one and a half year ."

The teacher praised him and added that only the art teacher  is complaining about my brother that his level is not good enough  for his age ..Perhaps if my mother encouraged  him he would  show more talent .

When the form teacher left our home  my mother was disturbed by this art teacher's remark . It turned out that they had  homework - they had to paint  something colorful   around their  home . My mother looked out the kitchen window and told to my brother   : Look  there  !  The fence which is hiding the garbage  cans !   it is a nice topic ... I remember him drawing that colorful fence   it  had large orange/yellow triangles  and really there was not many other colorful things to choose that winter day ....  my mother was cooking and encouraged him  "   be brave  - do not be afraid to paint it large .... "  everybody loved the result


 So my brother was  waiting very much to go to the school the next day - he wanted to tell  the other students about the teacher's visit and he expected some nice words  from the art teacher .  . But when  he woke up he was very unwell : high temperature , sore throat .... My mother felt miserable .... She was nearly  crying  'I am so much ashamed  now .... I  was too proud yesterday that you are never ill .  They will laugh  when they hear you are down with flu "

In Mum's Bed 1908 Photograph by dianegaddis
Print photos at Zazzle

 Luckily , nobody teased him  for this  ... then this story  always reminds me not to take the good health of our child as a personal victory  .  Some kids gets sick more often than others  .

And what happened to the painting ?  My brother could show it to the teacher after a week !  The only thing she could tell him  was " this is not your work - somebody else has made it "  and deterred him for life from the career as an artist .