still I am Sad

It happens that I can sleep at night . After the Villaggio fire I could not .I was too much upset to be able to do so .Or when I did fell asleep then I saw always the same nightmare ; I am in a public place with my kids  ...  then we lose each other ...and I am desperately crying out their names . And I can hear the fainted noise of their laughs but there are huge walls between us. The huge walls are frightening - I know that I can not reach them and I feel awfully alone . I wake up  and I am sweating and happy to see my kids near me . But the depressing feeling is still in me and makes my days sad .Then I  think of the families of the victims and about the silence that they must bear after loosing their little ones .The sounds of  the cheerful life of the toddlers /preschoolers /juniors who perished in the smoke .They had been noisy kids as all of us were a day -and now it is only silence .Two sets of families lost 3 kids . A toddler who did not want to go that day to the creche lost 3 siblings  those who did go .How much  burden  he has to carry all his life !The memory of three siblings who died .And all of us -we must carry this burden now all our life .